So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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