Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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