Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
