If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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