And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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