i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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