i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
