In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
