I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He passed out mid-signature
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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