Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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