after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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