I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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