just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
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Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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