check it out our google latitudes are spooning
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
