I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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