Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
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I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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