She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
