I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
