Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's rum buckets o'clock
Someone signed my nipple.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
