Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
