did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
