remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
