A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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