A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.