I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck