My friends, they love my intelligence
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex