Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.