No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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