Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
