This girl is more easily done than said...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize