my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
there is glitter all over my balls
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
