if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
