Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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