Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
