Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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