just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
