I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
