Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
