How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
