remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
