We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
