i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
