yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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