When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize