I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
