What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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