her vagine was all disorganized.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
