just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
