put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
