I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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