She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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