it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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