Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
