gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related