she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
