He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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