I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
where am i from again
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
